Parking Lot Rage this morning
I pay for monthly parking downtown, so i have card access into the garage. i'm a little impatient with the holiday shoppers that park in my building. call me an elitist but i'm a "regular parker" and they are not versed in the ways of "regular parking". How i do it: flash the badge and head to the top, no door dings no waiting. How they do it: creep along at 5mph and try to squeeze into a spot on the lower level. So needless to say if i see you at the gate waiting for your ticket i'm gonna flash my badge and get out front. my car goes 0-60 in about 5 seconds so i'm gonna beat you. everytime. so i flash my badge this morning, the gate goes up and i go. this lady next to me, after a two second lag, guns it BEHIND me and just lays on the horn. OHMYGOD how embarrassing for her. The parking lot is pretty empty of people but the people that run the booths and the office are right there all just in awe of what's going on. There is a car backing into one of the office spots so i'm not speeding off i'm at dead spot with this really angry woman with gigantic teased up fried hair hanging out of her car screaming at the top of lungs at me. Here is an excerpt "you're a fucking asshole, i'm gonna fucking kill..." this goes on the entire time i'm waiting for this car to just finish backing out so i can race up to the top and park door ding free. i looked back, smiled and said something to the effect that she clearly lost that race, and flipped her off. why? because i'm a true sportsman. so i get to the top of the garage, park and get in the elevator. i'm tapping madly on my sidekick (i'm not really mad like in a roadrage kind of way, i just type fast) and "boong" (or at least that is the sound i think the elevator doors make when they open..) and the big haired lady piles in. it's just me and this aggressive woman. she reaks of perfume and her hair is really high. i'm frightened. I laugh. it's definately an uncomfortable situation. before we get to the bottom she says "excuse me". i ignore her and keep tapping on the sidekick. and then again she emits something, but this time it's "excuse me, SIR." and when you call me SIR i can't help but to die a little laughing on the inside, i'm only 30 and look like i'm 20, don't call me mister either. So i turn and look her in the eye and she's got her hand out like she wants to do a truce. it's her left hand. maybe she has never shook a hand before or maybe she's not adjusted to society and it's handshaking norms. but she apologizes to me, and it was genuine. "i'm really sorry, i have a very bad temper and i was clearly wrong and NEEDED to tell you that". WOW, are you kidding me? I offer her my left hand taking a quick mental note that i need to wash the cheap perfume off of it when i get into the office, making me even later to my meeting. and i say "that's very big of you", what else do you say to that? So to whoever that woman was and i hope you are reading this, i truly appreciate you apologizing even if you are bipolar and need serious therapy.
posted by weerjin at 3:13 PM
4 Comments:
I've been staring at the 'leave a comment' box, because I felt like I wanted to respond... but now I'm not so sure.
Doesn't she know peple get SHOT for acting that way? People are weird.
Knights Roy Hobbs Named In Steroid Scandal
NEW YORK--Beloved New York Knights slugger Roy Hobbs has been implicated in a steroid scandal by writer Max Mercy. The golden haired American hero has reportedly been injecting some sort of performance-enhancing elixir into his body for the past two seasons, rendering all his records in doubt. Around the nation, sad-eyed young boys voiced their dismay at the bad news. “Aw, say it aint so, Roy! Say it’s all a lie!” said young ragamuffin Danny O’Toole. “It’s just that rotten old Max Mercy tryin to pull one over on us, ain’t it?” Unfortunately, the raffish young scamp would be heartbroken to learn that it’s not a lie, after all. “It’s true, kiddo,” said Hobbs, playfully messing up the boy’s hair. “I’ve been injecting Tetrahydogestrinone into the meaty part of my thigh since I came up to the bigs, on account of me being 35 and my muscles just don’t heal like they used to. It shouldn’t be too much of a surprise, though. How the fuck do you think I hit 137 home runs last year?”
Roy-
Dude...
you're confused. yes... indeed you are. this woman had a right hand, she just wasn't offering it. quick question, why are you calling me "dude"? are you in sales? obviously since you have clients you aren't looking for work, but hey, let me know. appreciate your feedback pal.
Roy Hobbs is right, in fact he's polite.
You're not elitist.
You're a moronic elite piece of shit.
And for Roy, you don't really think a guy who think racing in parking lot is sporting have ''a perfect life''.
At least Brent won't get brain cancer, or remorse.
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